My Grandfather

My grandfather had magical eyes. They were this amazing blueish green with a sparkle of mischief. He always had a joke to tell, he always could make one smile.

I had the luxury of my grandparents living down the street. When I was two I escaped from my parents watchful eye. Luckily I knew where I was wondering to, my grandparents. My grandma looked out her dining room window and saw me waking down the street towards their home. Knowing grandma, my parents heard an earful.

That home was my second home. When I was a child my biggest fear was losing my grandpa and grandma. I had to carry pictures of them with me to school. I would pull them out of the special pocket and look at them while the others ran out to recess. I couldn't wait for the bell, to get home, to get to them. I spent almost every day after school there, I slept over on weekends. I played dress up in housecoats, would sew outfits for my dolls out of grandma's pink sewing basket, watch grandpa build models. We would watch "Price is Right" summer mornings, that's when grandma would sit on the couch on put on her makeup....she is so beautiful, she never has needed it.

My grandparents were the managers of the mobile home community we lived in. Even though they worked, we still got to be around them. My grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, mom and dad all took shifts "watching" the pool. We spent many hours gathered around that table. Hot summer days, warm summer nights, amazing memories. That went on into my late teens when I would even "watch" the pool. We lived at that pool, swimming or chatting into the evening.

I never thought it was uncool to hang with adults. I went to the mall more with my grandparents and aunt than I did friends. I had fun, I loved every minute of it.

I always loved listning to my grandpa tell stories of when he and grandma were dating. He would have you rolling on the floor. He was a card. Priceless stories.

My grandpa and I had alot of fun razzing each other. He used to say, "If I didn't tease you, you'd think I didn't love you." Sometimes he'd call me at work and say, "Working hard or hardly working?" We just had fun. So much fun.

When he started to become very ill. I became very withdrawn. I was scared. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to cope. I thought that if I stayed away it would be easier somehow, I don't get the logic now that I saw then.

I was in Bountiful in a meeting when I got the call to get to the hospital. It was grandpa's 83rd birthday. I cursed, screamed and cried all the way to Salt Lake. That was the longest drive of my life.

Arriving at the hospital you know it's bad when they let the whole family into ICU. When I saw him, I couldn't speak. I held his hand and cried, I couldn't get a word out. He asked me "Why all the tears? It's going to be okay." Like always, my grandpa comforting me. I did get to tell him I loved him before he died. I never thought I would watch someone take their last breath. I was there to send my grandpa off into his next jouney.

One year later, I sit here on what would be his 84th birthday and I think of the good times. I start to realize that with him, I didn't have any bad times.

I regret not going over there every spare moment I had. Just to sit in his presence, to hear him talk, to hug him. I would give the world to fall at his feet and pour my soul out to him on how much I love him, miss him. The impact he has on my life still. The values he taught me.

I just want to be that little girl again with her grandpa. I want to hold his hand. I want to go back.

Happy Birthday Grandpa. I love you more than ever.